If Only
by Charmsheartz
Summary: Everyone was mad at her for not going to the last few days of his wake. What was the real reason? If only he knew... Summary sucks and I wrote this story just to get it out of my mind. Sorry if you didn't like it. Rated M for tragedy.


**If only…**

The day of the funeral.

Everyone was mourning. Crying.

I, Gabriella Montez, was in the back of the church trying not to cry.

Everyone was mad at me. They didn't even acknowledge me when I came, or rather was forced to come, here.

I looked down on my flat stomach. They didn't understand. I shouldn't have come here.

I saw the gang glaring at me from the front pews. I looked down.

I bit my lip trying hard not to cry. You see, they were very mad at me for not going to the last few days of the wake. I couldn't. I had to stay busy at home for me not to cry.

I looked up to see my parents comforting HIS parents. The parents of Troy Bolton.

Troy Bolton.

My best friend, soul mate, the love of my life.

'How could you?'

'He needed you there!'

'You're his friend!'

Those were the words uttered to me by my parents and my friends. I snorted at the last one. His friend. If only they knew. You see, everyone thinks that I am not close to Troy and that I am just part of the gang.

How wrong they are…

My parents made their way to me. I can't believe they forced me into coming here.

"Gabi, its part of the ceremony for everyone to look at him before the actual funeral." Mom said.

"Gabs, its bad enough that you didn't come the last few days." Dad said.

I nodded. It's now or never. But I couldn't… its bad for me and –

"Gabi, come on. They're waiting."

I stood up and made my way to the front slowly. I could see the casket right there.

I can't believe I am doing this. Another reason why I didn't want to come here. I feel so guilty and mad. Everyone wanted to know why he committed suicide but I knew.

I cant believe this.. He killed himself. I find him very stupid to do that. But then again, if only he knew, I think he would have fought to live. For me, for us.

I saw people glaring at me. They really didn't understand.

I walked up the few steps and I took a deep breath. I looked inside.

There he was. So pale but still handsome. I couldn't take it anymore.

I started sobbing so hard that I fell to the ground. Nobody knew we were dating for a very long time.

_Flashback_

_I went to our secret hideout, a tree house in the deserted park. It's filled with pictures and other memories we had like where we had showed that we really loved each other. I was so nervous. I found him sitting inside looking around. _

_I hugged from the back and kissed his cheek still feeling very nervous._

"_Hi wildcat." _

_He turned around giving me a kiss in the lips._

"_Hey baby."_

_We stared at each other knowing something was up._

"_Troy, what's wrong?"_

_The next few words caused my life to crash, "I have cancer."_

_End_

He didn't tell anybody but me. I told him to tell his parents. I actually forced him to make an appointment immediately for chemotherapy, forgetting what I had to say to him that day. The day of his chemo, we made excuses just to go to the hospitals. It was easy. Usually, we always sneak out just to see each other so no one suspected a thing.

The first day of chemo, he hated it fussing about how he wanted to give up. I told him to do it for me and he surrendered. But after a few more, he decided that he couldn't take it anymore so he made it easier for him.

My parents held onto me like I was so fragile. Everyone was now very confused since I was making a big fuss about his death and I didn't even go the past few days. I didn't even realize I was already shouting.

"Troy!! Why didn't you fight for us!"

I was really sobbing. Everyone didn't mind since they thought 'us' was his family and friends.

After the funeral, everyone was still looking at me because of the scene I made inside the church. I couldn't take it anymore so I ran, while crying. Ran to our tree house. It was nearby.

I ran as fast I could that I didn't realize that the gang and the parents were running after me, concerned. Including his parents.

I started to climb up the tree and then looked out from the tree house. They were there.

I started throwing out the boxes I packed the other day filled with pictures and memories. I started climbing down the tree, holding a paper.

Everyone was looking at me surprised and I realized that they started looking at all the pictures. Pictures of us, kissing and cuddling.

I held out the paper to his mom. The paper indicating his sickness.

"This is the reason. I am so sorry! I told him to tell you and to take chemo. He did take chemo but I didn't know that he didn't tell you guys yet. I am so sorry."

While I was saying that part, I was trying my best not to cry but after I said it, I once again started sobbing.

I felt someone hug me and it was his mom.

"Shhh.. Sweetie, it wasn't your fault."

"I am also s-so-sorry for not tel-telling you that we are da-dating."

Once I calmed down, I looked at everyone. They were pitying me.

"The reason that I didn't go the past few days is that I didn't want to hurt the baby. Our baby. The only part of him left. If only he knew…"

I drove to the cemetery and went to Troy's grave.

I was holding onto one year old, Vincent Alexander Bolton. He is the splitting image of Troy; shaggy blond hair, blue eyes, and the smile that could make girls scream. I laughed at that thought.

"Sweetie, say hi to your daddy."

"Dada.." Vincent said. I kissed him on the forehead.

We went our way to the tree house. Tears started to flow from my eyes.

"Dada?" Vincent spoke and I turned my head to Vincent.

"What baby?"

"Dada!" Vincent spoke pointing beside the tree.

I looked at where he was pointing and smiled.

"I love you Troy." I whispered.

If only he knew…


End file.
